


Till All My Sleeves Are Stained Red

by BeckWeeps



Category: Black Friday - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf Ethan Green, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Henry is Ethan's uncle in this and saved Ethan from his parents, I just like making characters I like suffer, Parental Henry Hidgens, Recovery, Self-Harm, There is very much a happy ending though, Venting lol, the self harm is never physically shown however there is significant discussion about it, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24065770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeckWeeps/pseuds/BeckWeeps
Summary: Ethan is having a hard time. He does his best to hide it from his Uncle but all things get found out eventually.Trigger Warning for themes of self harm and depression. No actual self harm is depicted but of course is discussed and referenced throughout the work.Stay safe if you read it
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	Till All My Sleeves Are Stained Red

Ethan tugged his jacket sleeves further down, making sure no skin was showing between the cuff and his glove. 

If someone were to see. 

If someone were to realise what he was hiding.

Normally on the rare occasions he slipped up, Ethan was able to wear a bandage for a few weeks until the scars faded and used the excuse of a sprained wrist. But that was when he still lived at home. When his parents didn’t give a fuck about him as anything other than a punching bag.

But now…

If he used that excuse now, Henry would insist on checking his wrist and then he would see. If Henry saw, he would make Ethan stop and that was the last thing he needed. 

Ethan needed this.

And yet, a part of Ethan, deep down, hoped Henry would find out. Just so he wouldn’t feel so alone anymore. So that someone would know what he was going through and would be able to help. Part of him wanted to get better and recover.

Ethan shook his head and tugged at his sleeves again. None of that. He didn’t need any thoughts like that. 

He silently thanked the universe that it was still spring and he could keep his jacket on without suspicion.

-

“Ethan my boy! How was school? Come, join me in my lab while I finish marking and tell me about the test you had today.” Heny signed, looking genuinely happy to see Ethan. Something that he still wasn’t used to. People were never happy to see him. Well except for Lex but he wasn’t used to that either.

Ethan grinned at Henry and nodded, following him to the lab. In the two months that Ethan had been living with his uncle, the lab had become a safe space of sorts, a sanctuary to him. His evenings sat in there while Henry did marking or dumb experiments for Ethan’s amusement meant the world to Ethan.

“I think I did okay on the test...I mean, I hope I did. I did try to, I don’t want to disappoint you.” Ethan sat cross legged on Henry’s desk with a small smile. “I don’t think I would have found it as easy as I did if you hadn’t helped though”

“Ethan my boy, that was all you. You put in the hard work. I simply asked you questions and let you infodump. And remember Ethan. You will not disappoint me by getting bad grades or by making normal mistakes. You can’t disappoint me, I love you kid.”

-

When Ethan looked at the angry red B scrawled at the top of his test, he knew Henry would be disappointed. He just knew. The disapproving look his teacher gave him said everything. He was a failure.

Ethan stood abruptly and left the classroom. The next hour was spent locked in a cubicle in the bathroom.

He was screwed.

-

Ethan tugged his jacket sleeves further down, making sure no skin was showing between the cuff and his glove.

If his Uncle were to see...

How could he hide it though? 

The weather was too warm to warrant leaving his jacket on. He knew Henry would realise if it stayed on. And if Henry saw, he would make Ethan stop and that was the last thing he needed.

What other option was there though? All his long sleeves were in the wash. 

No. 

The jacket would have to stay on. 

If he snuck in and went straight upstairs, Ethan knew he could get out of explaining for at least a little while. That would give him time to think of an excuse. He could hide the test then too, throw it away or hide it under his bed.

-

Ethan slipped his hearing aids into his pocket. At least then he wouldn’t hear Henry calling him into the lab. Slowly he opened the door and closed it behind him with what Ethan really hoped was a quiet click. 

It wasn’t until he was in his bedroom, that Ethan allowed himself to let out a heavy sigh, flopping with a thud onto his bed. Slowly, he peeled off the thick leather jacket and dropped it to the floor. 

Ethan’s eyes drooped closed. 

-

It was dark outside.

He had only meant to close his eyes for a moment. But it was dark out.

Ethan pulled his arm out of the blankets that covered him...The blankets that covered him?

Fuck.

He fumbled until the lamp turned on. His jacket was hanging on the cupboard door, his hearing aids placed neatly on the bedside table next to him.

Fuck.

Slowly, he put in his hearing aids in, his hands shaking slightly. 

The door opened.

Fuck.

He wrapped the blanket around himself again, hiding his arms from sight. A small part of him hoped that Henry hadn’t seen the scars criss-crossing his arms. Ethan knew though. One look at Henry’s face proved Ethan wrong.

Fuck.

-

There was silence for about seven minutes before Henry spoke.

“Ethan. Talk to me kid. It’s alright I’m here. Just talk to me kid, you’re alright.” Henry’s voice was soft and his face visibly worried. Slowly Ethan felt Henry hug him.  
A quiet sob escaped him as he flung his arms around Henry. Ethan couldn’t hold it in anymore. He was falling apart and the only thing keeping him tethered was Henry’s tight hug.

“I’m sorry - sorrysorrysorry- please I dont - I didn’t - don’t be angry at me - I don’t…” Ethan completely shattered.

“You’re alright kiddo. I promise. I’m not angry at you. I’m just worried about you. This isn’t healthy. Let me help you.”

Ethan tentatively nodded and then pulled away from Henry. His hands shook but slowly and unsurely, Ethan lowered the blanket to reveal his arms to Henry. 

“I was twelve when I started. I...I got a bad grade. I got a B in a test and they -” Ethan shook his head, shaking away memories. “They didn’t react well. Got a glass thrown at my head before they locked me in my room.” His breath hitched. “I used one of the shards to - to… I needed to feel something. Couldn’t stop after that.” 

“You have been dealing with this alone for three years? I apologise my boy, that you have been dealing with so much pain and nobody realised earlier and helped you. I’m sorry I never realised what you were going through since you have been living with me. Let me help you Ethan? Let me help you heal.”

The raw emotion and honesty in Henry’s voice had Ethan almost believing that he would be able to help. But did he want help? Did he want to heal?

“I...I don’t know if I want to though. I...What if I get worse? I NEED this to cope Henry. I don't know if I can do it.” 

There was a long pause, Henry simply holding Ethan close while he cried. Then, Henry spoke. His words quiet but firm.

“Ethan, believe me when I say this. You do not need to hurt yourself. I know all too well how much sway it can hold over you, but you don’t need it to cope. You can recover Ethan. Let me help.”

Did he want to get better?

Did he want to recover?

Did he want Henry’s help?

Yes. Ethan decided. He did.

He nodded and let Henry help him.

-

Ethan rolled his flannel sleeves up with a smile, not caring anymore that his arms were visible. He silently thanked the universe that it was summer at long last. The lighter evenings allowed him to walk for a while, just listening to music and thinking before returning home.

““Ethan my boy! How was school? You got your exam results today right? Join me in the lab while I finish marking and you can tell me how fantastically you’ve done.” Henry signed looking genuinely happy to see Ethan. 

“You just want someone to listen to you complain about your foolish students.” Ethan signed with a grin before settling cross legged on Henry’s desk. 

Ethan pulled out the sheet listing his grades and handed it over to Henry with a smile, signing “You proud of me?”

“Always.”

-

Ethan rolled down his flannel sleeves to protect himself from the surprisingly cold evening breeze as he and Henry walked to the restaurant to celebrate not just his grades, but the achievement of it having been a year since he last hurt himself.

It had been two years since the day Henry found out. At first there were frequent relapses. He didn't know how to cope. The whole time though Henry stayed by Ethan's side. Then the time between relapses started to grow as Ethan found new coping mechanisms to help and grew more comfortable in going to Henry and asking for help when he needed it.

And then it had been an entire year that Ethan had stayed clean. That alone was worth a celebration.

Things were good.

Ethan was okay.

He was okay.


End file.
